John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."
As many of you know, I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. And as a recovering addict, I regularly attend meetings of Narcotics Anonymous, which, if you don't know, is basically Alcoholics Anonymous for druggies and junkies and such. So, last night, I was at a 6:30 meeting of Narcotics Anonymous, which is the newcomers meeting here at my homegroup in Irving. As people shuffled in around 6:20, I noticed a large number of kids sitting across from me. Upon further inquiry, I discovered that they were from an in-patient rehabilitation program about 40 minutes away. I was thrilled to see such a group here at my home meeting, because, as a newly recovering addict, it's always good and inspiring for me to see other people in the throws of addiction and the earlier stages of recovery. It reminds me that if I go back out and use, the results are only going to be negative.
So, as the meeting came to a close, someone came to the front to hand out keytags. Basically, in the Narcotics Anonymous tradition, we hand out color-coded keytags to represent increments of clean time. For instance, the white keytag represents one day clean, the orange keytag represents thirty days, and the red keytag ninety, all the way up to the black keytag which represents two or more years clean. So anyways, as one of the members headed up to the front to hand out keytags, a boy in the back with sullen eyes and trackmarks on his arm shot up from his seat to pick up a white keytag. Now, in NA we give hugs when someone picks up a keytag and when we introduce ourselves to someone. I was sitting right next to where this boy stood, so I instinctively got up to give him a hug. And as I rose with open arms, he stepped back and spat, "I don't want no fuckin' hugs." I was a bit taken aback, and the entire room grew silent. I had never encountered such a situation before. So I sat back down in my seat and, I was told later, my face turned bright red.
The entire night, I was completely thrown off by this kid. I dwelled on the situation all evening, until I went to bad. And as I sat in bed, on the computer, I accidentally came across an editorial post on the website for a certain, really awesome Christian publication that was called "WWJD? Getting Past the Cliche". All of a sudden, it hit me that all these feelings I was having toward this kid were angry. I was pissed off that someone would say that to me. So I took a step back and attempted to put myself in this kid's shoes, like my mother taught me so many years ago. I remember what it was like to have three days clean, as this kid did. I remember what it was like to want to use so badly that when someone tries to show you some grace, you reject it--just for the sake of rejecting it. I remember not having the best friend that drugs had turned into for me. And I also remember walking into the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous for the first time.
So as I read my bible, as I try to do each night, I happened upon the verse at the top of this post. "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." It's an incredibly plainspoken but very moving verse. And at that point, I realized I was in the wrong. Even when someone shuts you down, like this kid, all you can do is show some love. It's love that breaks people, and it's love that people need. So, if you take anything at all from this blog this week, take that. Love one another as Jesus loves you.
One love in Christ,
Cameron
No comments:
Post a Comment